


Your Voice, As I Remember It

by dizzystars



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, One Shot, Song fic, Tragedy, not really but i Do talk about songs in the notes. So.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:02:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25418122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzystars/pseuds/dizzystars
Summary: Blitzwing grapples with the loss of his friend.
Relationships: Blitzwing & Shockwave, Blitzwing/Shockwave
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Your Voice, As I Remember It

**Author's Note:**

> A FEW PRECURSORS  
> 1\. i like to think that megatron told everyone else that shockwave died in order to keep his mission an absolute secret. obviously, blitzwing would have to know about shockwave being alive and actually a spy in season 2 (which is honestly a whole angst fic in itself) BUT FOR NOW. blitzwing fully believes shockwave is dead.  
> 2\. i personally view blitzwing & shockwave as queerplatonic partners/amicas, but honestly this could be interpreted as blitzwing having a one-sided crush, them being in a romantic relationship, OR just them being best friends! i think i left it vague enough that all of these are valid interpretations, so its up to you!  
> 3\. this is also kind of a spiritual successor to my first blitzwing & shockwave fic, morals! https://archiveofourown.org/works/15077102

Megatron had announced Shockwave’s death during a normal morning briefing, as if it was as no more important than the weather forecast. It was “against the Decepticon way” to show any type of weakness-- including emotional-- so no one reacted to the news of Shockwave’s passing. It wasn’t until Blitzwing got back to his quarters, that the lump in his throat finally burst and he screamed, sobbed, and destroyed everything in his room. He got a firm chewing out from everyone about it, but he didn’t care. He felt empty.

Blackarachnia had taken a lot from him when she had experimented on him, but the one thing he did gain was Shockwave. They became friends for unfortunate reasons-- he was a freak now, and that was something Shockwave sympathized with-- but Blitzwing couldn’t really complain. He liked Shockwave, a lot. At first, he thought of Shockwave as a stoic, cold, and closed-off nerd, but the more time he spent with him, the more he realized that Shockwave was… a really good friend. Blitzwing liked keeping him company as he worked on experiments. His spark always warmed whenever he was able to make Shockwave laugh.

And most importantly, Shockwave was patient with him. He _cared_ about Blitzwing, _genuinely_. Even when Blitzwing was a screaming, sobbing mess, buried in his arms, grabbing onto him so tightly that he left dents, Shockwave remained kind and warm. He’d run his claws gently down his back and whisper words of comfort to him until he was calmer. Blitzwing knew he was a servoful, but Shockwave didn’t seem to mind at all. He loved Blitzwing at his best and loved him even more at his worst.

Blitzwing felt so lost without him. He was in so much pain and the only bot who was ever able to soothe him was gone.

Stellarcycles past and the hurt never really went away. He just learned how to hide it. He used to not be able to go a solarcycle without thinking about Shockwave, but it eventually faded into the back of his processor.

The one thing that never seemed to subside was the dreams. Half a vorn after Shockwave’s death and Blitzwing _still_ dreamt about him constantly.

More often than not, they were nightmares. Blitzwing was never able to find out how Shockwave died, so his processor liked to take creative liberties with it. Sometimes they were tamer, and Blitzwing would just find Shockwave’s dead body and cry until he woke himself up. Other times, Blitzwing was in some way the cause of Shockwave’s death. He would be either unable to save him-- from Autobots, from a natural disaster, from Megatron… or he would have accidentally killed Shockwave himself. They got more and more graphic after he arrived to Earth, and he’d usually have a rude awakening via Lugnut kicking or shoving him.

“You were screaming his name again,” he’d always say. “I don’t understand how you _still_ aren’t over him.”

Blitzwing would just turn his back to Lugnut, resisting the urge to rip him to shreds.

Sometimes, his dreams were lighter. He dreamt of doing everyday things, but Shockwave would be there with him. Often, he was leaning against Blitzwing, touching his back, holding his servo, laughing at a stupid joke he made. It should have been a familiar feeling, he had spent _so_ much time with Shockwave… but that had been stellarcycles ago. Now, his dreams were becoming fuzzier. He had a harder time remembering what Shockwave sounded like-- what he looked like.

Those dreams hurt the most.

**Author's Note:**

> i came up with the idea for this fic while listening to the mountain goats' 'up the wolves' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=el-ZrpQybXM) which lyrics wise doesn't really capture the idea/feelings of this fic BUT THEN I REMEMBERED AJJ'S 'YOUR VOICE, AS I REMEMBER IT' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taRA4QUI5pQ) AND YEAH THATS THE SONG IM DECIDING THIS FIC IS BASED ON NOW (honestly might do a pmv/animatic for this sometime hmm)  
> ANYWAYS!! if you've gotten this far, thank you for reading!! i love these boys a lot and love writing about them despite the fact that i've written like. only angst for them. maybe ill write a fluffy fic one day.....


End file.
